There is so much to discuss when it comes to relationships and pole it is hard to know where to start.


I remember when I first started Pole Dancing and I was so scared to tell my Dad. I don’t know why I was scared as he has always been supportive of everything that I do but there was just something about telling him that his one and only little girl was pole dancing. For many months I was heading to the gym two nights a week. That was until I had my first showcase night at the studio and I was so proud of the tricks that I was able to do that I wanted him there. There was no issue and he was more than happy to come watch.  


As much as it is important to have your parent’s support, it is the support of your significant other that is the most important thing to make your pole and aerial journey the best one.  Whether you have started for a different type of fitness or because you love the type of dance it makes a difference having someone to share the highs and lows with. 


From experience, I have felt the difference between being on stage knowing that my partner was at home not interested in supporting me and the sport that I loved and being on stage at Ignite 2019 with the guy I was seeing who was happy that I even asked him to come and watch it. While you may not realise it at the time, looking back I know I performed a lot better because I had that person in the crowd that knew how hard I worked on the routine and all the hours that went into making it what it was. Even just having that person to give you a hug after the performance and having them say that no matter what it was their favourite routine of the night is the best feeling.


So what is my advice for finding this? (In other words what do I wish I did better in my first relationship)


Well for starters the best thing for any relationship is to communicate. While this can be a no brainer, actively telling your partner when you are going to the studio and when you will be home is important. Whether this is a whiteboard in the kitchen or a text message each morning, put them first especially if you are missing dinner with them to be at your class.


Involve them in the creation process. When it comes to comp training it is easy to make it a solitary process, but by getting them involved in the process can help them feel as though they are supporting you and being involved in what you love as well. This can be done in a wide range of ways; from finding music, reviewing practice runs or using them as human props.


Make time away from the studio. As much I want to say that you should do all the classes and basically live at you home studio with your PhysiFam it is important to make time each week with your partner. Time where you can just focus on each other and not about the new trick you nailed that week. Set aside time for date night or couples walks. 


And lastly when they aren’t being as supportive as you need TELL THEM. I know that I am extremely guilty of this. I never actually told my ex how much it hurt that they weren’t at the comps with me and I don’t want any of you to ever feel like that. It may not even be needing them to attend a comp but if you need an extra hug because you have been working so hard on your nemesis trick and it is still not there, tell them. 


At the end of the day the studio is somewhere safe for everyone to let loose, express your feelings and get fit while doing something fun and different but it is even better when you can share this world with the other people in your life.

Dano Shannon